


Breaking Point

by Bathenafan14



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:40:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29945982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bathenafan14/pseuds/Bathenafan14
Summary: Bobby can only be patient for so long. Now he's reached his breaking point. Will Athena push him away for good??Based on the rumor that the second half of season 4 is not going to be smooth sailing for Bathena
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash
Comments: 102
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

Bobby entered the quiet house. Both May and Athena had a shift. Bobby was actually grateful for the silence. He was in a mood. Lately whenever he was home with Athena he felt suffocated. Like he couldn't talk to her or fully relax. He tried to hide it from his team but it was getting harder. It was exhausting to be on alert all shift and then come home and still be on alert walking on eggshells worried about upsetting the balance. Bobby sighed and walked into the kitchen to figure out what to make for dinner. It would just be him but he'd make something where there would be left overs for May and Athena. 

Bobby sighed. Thinking about his wife was a complicated thing at the moment. He loved her with all his heart. Right now Bobby was troubled. This year wouldn't have been easy under the best circumstances. But after you added the attack and the lock down, you would think it would have brought him and Athena closer but instead, Bobby felt like it was pulling them apart. Their world had been thrown upside down and then the actual world came crashing down. One thing after another and they never caught their breaths.

Bobby had also never gotten over her words when she told him she stopped seeing Kara. It hadn't occured to her to tell him she stopped seeing him and she didn't need to be babied. He could have told her he was still upset about that but he was tired of fighting with her. He felt like everytime they talked they got further apart so he dropped it. It had continued to eat away at him while Athena didn't appear to lose any sleep over it. Bobby gently put down the knife he was holding. Just thinking about it it made him shake with anger. Athena is his wife. He's supposed to worry about her. He's supposed to care. Why the hell wouldn't she let him dammit!! Bobby took several deep breaths and then picked up his knife. He forced himself to think about something else. 

***

Athena sipped her milkshake and eyed Hen across the table. "Hey, tell me something." She said.

"Okay." Hen rested her arms on the table leaning forward a bit. "Have you noticed anything different about Bobby?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just answer the question." Athena didn't want to say anymore because she wanted a general assessment of Bobby not Hen's opinion tainted by what Athena had to say.

Hen thought for little bit. "Not really. Recently me or someone else has caught him lost in thought. But no, I wouldn't say he appears to be different in any way. Athena, should I be worried?"

"No." Athena said quickly. But she sat quietly.

"Thena." Hen prompted. Athena's behavior was an instant red flag. "What's going on?"

"I don't know. I get the feeling that I've done something. But I have no idea what." Athena told her.

"Well have you asked Bobby?" Hen asked swirling her straw in her milkshake.

Athena shook her head. "He usually just tells me if something is bothering him."

"Maybe that's the point. Maybe he wants you to ask."

"Why would he do that?"

Hen frowned. "Because you don't. Maybe once he'd like to think you'd ask because you care." It was obvious to her. "Because that's what we do for people we love. Sometimes people want to be asked. It shows that you actually care."

"Are you accusing me of not caring?" Athena arched an eyebrow.

"No. I know you care. But does he know that?" Hen said firmly. "When the last time you checked in with Bobby."

"I told him we were going to lunch like an hour ago."

Hen shook her head. "That's not what I meant. When's the last time you checked in on him. Asked how he was. Athena when is the last time you had a real conversation with your husband."

Athena thought about it. "We talked the other night after we both got home from our shifts."

"Was it a real talk?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did you talk about anything more than the kids or work?"

"I mean there was some flirting and sex." Athena replied.

"Athena." Hen began to sound annoyed. "You may not be a big talker. But Bobby likes to share. When's the last time you've given him the chance to share his feelings, tell you what he's going through?"

"A while."

"How come?"

"It only leads to a fight. I'd ask him how he was doing and then he'd expect me to talk about how I was feeling and I didn't want to. He'd get upset that I was shutting him out. I'd yell about wanting space and being tired of talking and being asked about my feelings. It always circled back to the same thing." Athena took a big sip of her milkshake before going on. "Eventually he'd say he's worried about me going back to work so soon… after…the attack. I'd tell him I'm fine and I don't need to be babied by anyone and then it becomes a whole thing." Athena sighed. Just thinking about the fights made her exhausted.

Hen's eyes widened. "Athena. Did you actually say that to him?"

"What? That nobody needs to baby me? Yeah."

"I love you girl but I really want to smack you upside the head! You told your husband, Bobby, the man that would literally walk through fire for you, that he doesn't need to baby you?"

"I'm a grown ass woman. I can take care of myself."

"Oh my God Athena that's not the point." Hen leaned further forward. "No one is doubting that you are a strong, independent woman."

"Damn straight I am." Athena relaxed slightly seeing Hen was finally coming around.

"But Athena, it's not you against the world. It's you and Bobby against the world. You are a partnership. You can't tell him you don't need him."

"Uh nuh. I did not say I didn't need him." Athena defended herself.

"You did. You didn't say those exact words but in essence you said it. And I guarantee that's exactly what Bobby heard. How's that supposed to make him feel? Coupled with all your attention on Michael, I can see where Bobby might be feeling a bit left out."

"What about my attention to Michael?"

"For one this is our first lunch in like three weeks that he hasn't been the main subject of conversation. Then there's you worrying about his health and his hobbies and frankly giving him way more of your time and energy than your own husband."

"Hen, I appreciate your concern. But everything is fine." Athena shut down. 

Hen dropped it. She hit a nerve and Athena clearly wasn't getting it.

***

"Hey." Bobby came into the kitchen and sat down next to Athena at the table. Athena noticed he didn't bother to greet her with a kiss but didn'tsay anything about it.

"Hey." Athena looked at him. "What's wrong?"  
Bobby chuckled not sure where to take that question. "Something you find funny?"

"No." Bobby cleared his throat. "I want to talk to you."

"Okay." Athena said. "I'm listening."

"I feel further away from you than I've ever felt. I feel boxed out of your life. I feel like you have pushed me away and are keeping me in a corner."

"Bobby I…"

"Let me finish." Bobby cut her off.

"I don't feel like your husband any more. What am I to you?" Bobby asked. The pain in his eyes tore at Athena's heart. She had hurt him. He was suffering because of her. Athena's instinct was to put up her defenses but Bobby had hit her right in the heart before she could put up her defenses. 

"I don't know what you want me to say." Athena said quietly. 

"I don't want you to say anything." Bobby bit back.

"Fine." Athena got up. 

"Athena!" Bobby said loudly. "I don't want you to say anything because I want YOU to want to say something. I want YOU to want to talk to me!"

"I don't want to talk to you!" Athena yelled back.

If Bobby hadn't still be sitting he would have fallen into his seat. Athena's words knocked the ground out from under him. 

Athena gasped to herself. Bobby look absolutely gobbsmacked. "Bobby." Athena barely whispered. 

He couldn't even look at her. Bobby slowly got to his feet not entirely sure he could still stand. "I guess I have my answer."

"Wait Bobby please." Athena turned around as he walked past her. "I didn't mean it."

"We both know you did." Bobby said sadly. He slowly lifted his eyes to hers. "Do you even want to be married to me?" Athena was speechless. If the look on his face didn't crush her, his question did.

"Oh." Bobby wiped a burning tear as she stood unable to even answer. That was his answer. Athena was one of the most strong minded people he knew, but she couldn't muster the strength to tell him she didn't even want to be married to him. Bobby had so many more things he wanted to talk to her about but, if this is where they were, the rest of it was pointless.

"Bobby stop please." She followed him up the stairs towards the door. 

"Athena it's fine. You don't need to say anything." Bobby's heart was already shattered. He wasn't sure if he could take her trying to explain why she didn't want to be married to him. He took his key off his key chain and handed it back to her then walked out the door.

As soon as the door was shut something inside Athena broke. Athena crumbled to the floor squeezing the key in her hand so hard it hurt. Athena screamed as she tried to do something to alleviate the pain she felt. Minutes later Athena pulled herself from the floor. She went to the cabinet in the living room and began pulling things off the shelf. Once it looked like a tornado had ripped through the house Athena walked into the bedroom. Of course her eyes swept the room finding everything that belonged to Bobby. Her eyes landed on the picture from their wedding on the dresser.

Shaking with emotion Athena walked over and picked it up. Her, Bobby, and the kids. Athena collapsed on the floor again. She stared at the picture. She could see how happy Harry and May were. She looked so happy, her eyes filled with joy and love for the man who held her gaze. "Bobby." Athena whispered touching his picture. He looked at her with such love and affection even now it made her stomach flutter and her heart leap into her throat. He never stopped looking at her like that. 

"What have I done?" Athena asked herself. 

  
"Mom!" May called out entering the house. 

"Bobby!" Harry called out.

"Athena!" Michael followed his kids into the house.

"Woah." May stopped at the stairs causing Harry to bump into her. 

"It looks like a tornado was here." Harry said a bit too gleefully.

"Head on up to your rooms." Michael told them.

"Wait Where's mom and Bobby?" May asked.

"Bobby's truck wasn't outside." Harry remembered.

"But mom's car is still here." May pointed out. "Maybe then went out in Bobby's truck."

"Then what happened here?" Michael pointed to the living room. 

All three of their heads snapped up when they heard Athena's voice. "He-hey." 

"Mom what happened?" May was the first to find words.

"Athena, are you okay?" Michael questioned. She looked terrible.

"Where's Bobby?" Harry asked.

"We…we had a fight." Athena said quietly. She couldn't ignore the dreadful feeling that she was lying. That was more than a fight. They pretty much broke up.

"A fight did all this?" Michael surveyed the damage to the living room. 

"I did that...after Bobby returned his key and walked out." Athena went back into her room shutting the door behind her leaving her family to process what she just said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens next...

"Uh guys." Buck said uneasily. "Cap's here."

"He looks terrible." Eddie observed as Bobby walked through the truck bay.

"Uh oh." Hen frowned. 

"Hey Cap." Chimney couldn't keep the concern out of his voice. "Should you be working today?"

"I'm…"

"Don't even try." Eddie cut him off. "You look like hell and you are not going to convince us you are okay."

"I know it looks bad, but I'm sober." Bobby promised them. "Here." He held out his 2 year chip proving his sobriety. "See still sober."

"We believe you Cap." Hen said. "We're worried is all."

"So what happened?" Buck asked.

"Athena and I…" Bobby trailed off. He didn't know how to begin to explain what happened. "Had a big fight." He sighed. That didn't even seem like an adequate description. 

"When was this?" Hen asked.

"Two days ago." Bobby shrugged. "I haven't talk to Athena since. Any of you heard from her."

"No." Hen replied. She didn't mention that Michael called her. Knowing Athena had talked to Michael was probably not the best thing for Bobby to hear right now given the way Athena's attention to Michael has been a touchy subject for the couple. 

"Listen, I know you care, but I don't want to talk about this. I just want to work and focus on that." Bobby said.

"Of course." Chimney clapped him on the back.

"I need to deal with some things in my office." Bobby walked away.

"Hen." Chimney turned on her instantly. "How bad is it really?"

"Honestly I haven't heard from Athena." Hen looked between their worried faces. "However Michael called me. He told me he brought the kids over to the house and Athena had tore apart the living room. And Athena told him that Bobby gave back his key." 

"Oh shit." Buck looked down at the floor.

"Yeah." Eddie muttered. "Not good."  
  
"I've got this." Chimney left their little group and walked towards Bobby's office. The other three were close on his heels though.

Chimney knocked and when Bobby gave permission he entered the room with Buck, Hen, and Eddie. Chimney walked over and took a seat across from Bobby. "We are here for you Cap."

"I appreciate that. But there's nothing any of you can do." Bobby said sadly. As he said it he realized there was nothing he could do. Bobby had tried everything but apparently his best wasn't good enough.

"What happened?" Chimney asked.

"Athena said she no longer wanted to be married to me." Bobby felt his throat burn as he fought back tears. "Now can I get back to my paperwork?" He said as casually as he could. Without having anything to say in response to Bobby's revelation, the team walked out of his office.

Everyone was grateful when the bell rung calling them out. Suprisingly Bobby ran the scene like nothing was wrong. But they all carried a bit of the heaviness with them. Something was terribly wrong between Bobby and Athena and no one was okay with that.

***  
Athena rapped her knuckles gently on the open door.

"Sargeant Grant." Elaine looked at her, only years of practice allowed her to keep a straight face. "Close the door behind you and come take a seat."

"You wanted to see me Captain." Athena said taking a seat.

"Athena, I have seen you show up to work no matter what you are going through in your personal life." Elaine started. Athena held her breath. She now understood this was a personal meeting not a professional one. "But I have never seen you like this. I normally wouldn't ask but this time is different. So," Elaine leaned back in her chair. "Whenever you're ready."

"Bobby and I… had a fight. I think. It was a fight and then he walked out. So I don't really know where that leaves us. I haven't heard from him in since and that was two days ago. Also I haven't slept well since." Athena explained. Elaine had several questions but she resisted the urge to say anything. "He asked me if I even wanted to be married to him and I was so stunned by the question I couldn't respond. He took my silence as his answer, returned his key and walked out the door. I haven't seen him since. I don't know where he is or if he's…." She wanted to say sober, "okay. And I am a mess." Elaine was shocked to see Athena cry. Athena hadn't even cried when Elaine walked her inside the corner market and she saw Emmett's body. Of course there was definitely shock involved there.

Elaine handed Athena a tissue. "I know Bobby is at work. Conners and Evans responded to a call with the 118 earlier."

"Good." Was all Athena could manage to say.

"I'm pulling you from the field. You'll be riding the desk for awhile." When Athena didn't protest Elaine was even more confident in decision.

"Well that takes away the chance I'd run into him on a call." Athena muttered. 

Elaine nodded. "And that is good for everyone." 

"Thank you Captain." Athena got up.

Elaine watched her go. She stared off lost in thought for several minutes. She hoped her friend worked out her marital troubles.

***

"You don't think it's weird we haven't seen Athena in three shifts do you?" Buck whispered to Hen. 

"No." Hen shook her head. "Athena's smart. She's probably stategically avoiding calls with us."

Buck looked around to make sure Bobby wasn't around. "Have you heard from her?" 

"No." Hen said. I called and texted. She didn't respond.

"That doesn't worry you?"

"I don't know Buck." Hen sighed. "Yes, I'm worried but I don't want to get in the middle of it, but also I want to lock them in a room until they both come to their senses. I have no idea what happened here so I don't know if it's repairable. All I know is what I told you guys I heard from Michael."

"Please Hen." Buck practically begged. "You know Athena better than all of us. I can't do it. I know I would make it worse. Bobby and Athena are the parents I always wanted and I can't deal with them being like this."

Hen held up her hand to silence him as she thought about what he said. "That might come in handy later. I'll try to talk to Athena. Before I can even figure out if this is fixable I need to know what happened from Athena."

"Thanks Hen." Buck relaxed.

"Hold the celebration. We don't even know what's going on. They could have reached their breaking point." Hen warned him.

***  
Athena looked through the peep hole and opened the door a crack. "Hen, I'm really not in the mood for company."

"Athena let me in." Hen said gently. She looked worse than Hen imagined. "Please."

Athena walked away from the door and Hen let herself in. Athena sat on the couch and Hen took a seat in a chair. "How's Bobby?" Athena couldn't help but ask.

"Now you care about how he's doing? After I've been asking you for months to talk to him, now you care?" Hen knew that was harsh but it was true. 

"I deserved that." Athena admitted. 

"How are you?" Hen asked changing the subject. 

"Feeling about as good as I probably look." Athena replied. "I broke him Hen. I might as well have ripped his heart out before he left."

"What happened?" Hen gently pushed the conversation forward.

"He told me how my behavior made him feel and then he asked me if I even wanted to be married to him. Was I that oblivious? Have I been that awful where my own husband doesn't even believe I want to be married."

"You have been through alot, but Athena, you have been oblivious too. You didn't even want to hear it from me just the other day." Hen told her. "You said Bobby asked if you wanted to be married to him. What did you say?"

"Nothing!" Athena gasped. "I…I was stunned into silence. He thought...Bobby assumed the worst and walked out on me after handing me back his key." Athena his her face behind her hand. 

"What is your answer to the question?" Hen asked.

"Of course I still want to be married to Bobby." Athena almost shouted. "Hen, Bobby makes me feel…everything. I love him. I didn't just break his heart, I shattered my own. I pushed him out the door, literally, and now its too late." Athena wiped at her tears.

"Is it really too late?" 

"I don't know. I haven't heard from him since and he hasn't come for any of his things. I guess I'm just waiting for the divorce papers." Athena said miserably.

"Do you want that?" 

"I want Bobby. But I don't think he ever wants to look at me again."

"Athena. You broke him. You broke his heart. I'm not saying you'll get him back or that he'll even listen to you, but, Athena now is your chance to show Bobby that you want him. You have to fight for him if you want him."

"I don't know if I can." Athena told her. "You didn't see him. He's not going to want me. Not after what I did."

"You won't know unless you try. And if you don't try you will forever be haunted by it."

"What if he says no?" Athena barely whispered.

"Can you really feel worse?" Hen strategically avoided answering the question directly. 

"No I don't think I can." Athena said. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could things get any worse?

"118 line up!" Shouted an unfamilar voice.

Hen and Chimney shared a look over a box of gauze they were restocking the ambulance with. That wasn't Bobby's voice and Bobby never made them do line ups. They hurried to join their teammates for line up. 

"What's the Chief doing here?" Buck whispered out out of the corner of his mouth.

"No idea." Eddie and Chimney replied at the same time, both muttering their responses under their breaths.

"Battalion Chief Souza will be taking over for Captain Nash." The team shared looks for a few seconds, all of them shocked by Chief Alonzo's announcement.

"Where's Captain Nash?" Buck asked.

Chief Alonzo looked at all of them before returning his gaze to Buck and answering his question. "Captain Nash requested a personal leave of absence. As I understand it, he left yesterday to go home to Minnesota. Now I will leave Battalion Chief Souza in charge." They all stared after Chief Alonzo finally turning back to Battalion Chief Souza when she cleared her throat.

"Before you ask." Souza jumped in, "I don't know anymore than you do. Chief Alonzo called me yesterday afternoon and asked my to take over Captain Nash's shifts. Now, for our morning meeting." She moved on leaving the topic of Captain Nash in the past.

"What did he mean "went home to Minnesota"?" Buck asked using air quotes for Chief Alonso's words. He soaked a sponge in the bucket. "His home is here." He slammed the sponge forcefully against the engine.

"Maybe he had a family emergency?" Eddie said. He didn't look up from drying the mirror of the fire engine with a towel. "We don't know he left because of whatever is going on with him and Athena."

"It could be a family emergency." Hen agreed. "But it also seems like too much of a coincidence that he'd suddenly have to leave now after what is going on with him and Athena."

"But that's the thing with emergencies, right?" Eddie pointed out. "You never know when they are going to occur."

"I wonder if Athena knows Bobby left." Buck wondered aloud.

"Hen you talked to her right?" Chimney asked.

"Yesterday." Hen answered. "Now I'm not sure she got the chance to talk to Bobby before he left."

"Guys we have to tell her." Buck said. "She needs to know Bobby left."

"I tried to tell her yesterday that if she had any chance of fixing this she needed to talk to Bobby and soon." Hen said.

"I will give Athena credit that she has been through alot but she has seemed rather distant." Eddie pointed out.

"That is exactly the problem." Hen nodded. "So when Bobby asked if she even wanted to be married and she couldn't say anything he felt like he got his answer." 

"What?!" Chimney stopped wringing his sponge. "Bobby and Athena are relationship goals! They are perfect together. Anyone can see that."

"Yes, but looks aren't everything." Athena was too stunned by the question to answer." Hen defended her friend although she did see Bobby's point.

"But as Bobby was already hurt and upset he took her non answer as his answer." Eddie concluded. 

"Rough." Buck shook his head. He turned to Hen. "But she still loves him right?"

"Yes." Hen nodded again. "Or at least that's what she told me.'

"Then we have to tell her." Buck was insistent. "She needs to know he left and she has to go bring him back."

"Buck." Eddie placed a hand on his shoulder. "You know there's a chance that it has gone too far right? We all saw Bobby. He is devestated. She may have hurt him too much."

"I know." Buck said. "But Bobby and Athena are the closest I've come to real parents. If there's a chance they can fix this, I can't sit back and not try to help. I…I don't know what I'm going to do with-without Bobby. I need him and I need Athena. I need them to be Bobby and Athena." Buck rested his head on the truck. Hen, Buck, and Eddie all placed sympathetic hands on him. While they were all worried, it made sense that Buck was taking this the hardest. Not only was it Buck's personality but they knew Buck was pretty much Bobby and Athena's kid.

***

Athena walked to the door. She was surprised to find Bobby's team standing on her doorstep. "Hi." She looked at them. "So Bobby told you." She could tell by the looks on their faces they knew what was going on.

"He did." Buck said. "And then he left."

Hen smacked Buck. He wasn't supposed to just blurt it out like that.

"What do you mean left?" Athena said sharply glaring at Buck.

Buck looked at Hen for help. Hen looked sympatheticallu at Athena. "Bobby left for Minnesota."

Athena gasped. "Wh-When? Did he tell you?"

"Chief Alonzo told us this morning when he introduced us to our interim captain. Told us Bobby requested a leave of absence." Hen explained.

"So he may not ever come back." Athena concluded.

"We wanted to know if you talked to him." Chimney said.

"I didn't know." Athena shook her head. "And uh no I haven't told to him. Bobby hasn't returned any of my calls or texts." Her old self would be embrassed by the number of increasingly rambling and desperate texts and voicemails she had left for Bobby. But she reminded herself she was desperate to try and save her marriage.

"You need to talk to him in person where he can't avoid you." Eddie told her. 

"It appears it's too late for that." Athena walked into the house knowing the rest of them would follow. "If he's not going to take my calls he sure as hell doesn't want to talk to me. Clearly he doesn't. I mean he even fled the state." Athena sank into the chair.

"Athena we had this conversation." Hen pointed out.

Athena nodded acknowledging Hen's meaning. "I better book a one way ticket to Minnesota."

"I'll help you pack." Hen volunteered. "Eddie get Athena a flight. Buck and Chimney, figure out where Bobby is staying and get Athena a hotel, obviously not the same one." 

Two hours later Athena was standing in line at TSA ready to board a flight to Minnesota with Bobby's hotel information scribbled on a piece of paper in Buck's handwriting. She hadn't asked how he got the information but he promised her it was accurate. 

Athena took her seat next to the window. She spent most of the flight alternating from looking out the window and staring at her rings. Athena smiled remembering how she felt when Bobby slipped the engagement ring onto her finger. On only one other occasion had she felt happier- when he slipped her wedding band onto her left ring finger. Athena twirled her rings. They were still married… at least for now. 

***

Athena got settled at her hotel conveniently located down the street from Bobby's. Athena dumped her suitcase on her bed trying to find the right outfit. It didn't take long. She picked the red v-neck top that was one of her favorites. It hugged her figure and red looks incredible on her as Bobby always reminded her. Athena stared at her reflection gathering her courage. Taking a deep breath and saying a prayer she headed for Bobby's hotel.

Athena got out of the elevator and walked down the hall towards the room where Buck told her Bobby would be. You wouldn't know it from looking at Bobby, but he was a bit of a hotel snob. He liked to stay at a nice hotel and in a suite, not unlike herself Athena thought. 

Standing outside the door with her fist raised, Athena took several deep breaths before knocking.

Bobby opened the door to see the last person he expected. Once he got over his inital shock his face hardened trying to protect his heart from her. "Athena." 


	4. Chapter 4

"What are you doing here?" Bobby folded his arms over his chest.

"I heard you left LA. I came to talk to you."

"I have nothing left to say to you." Bobby made to shut the door. 

"Wait Bobby." Athena put her hand on the door. "I hurt you. I know that. I'm sorry."

"You think that's good enough?" Bobby snapped. "You really think that's enough? After all the hurt you put me through I'm sorry is all you have to say for yourself?"

"No. I... I want to fix this." Athena pleaded.

"I'm not ready to talk to you."

"Are you ever going to be ready?" Athena asked.

Bobby gave her an incredulous look wondering where the hell she got off talking to him like that. "Seriously. I can't have a little bit of time? I can't get five minutes of your attention and then once I walk away you are ready to act like my wife?"

"You didn't just walk away Bobby." Athena pointed out. "You went halfway across the country!" 

Bobby just glared at her. That didn't change anything. In fact her response only strengthened his position, proving she only noticed him when he was gone.

Athena sighed. "Fine. I'm staying at the Marriot down the street. I'm not giving up Bobby. I will be here everyday for as long as it takes or unless you decide otherwise."

"What you mean unless I decide otherwise?" Bobby sighed. "That's the problem Athena! Every decision in this relationship is on me."

Athena closed her eyes and took a breath. "Bobby this ends one of two ways. Either you let me prove that I love you, I fucked up, and eventually forgive me no matter how long it takes. As long as you tell me there's still a chance I won't stop fight for you, for us.….but if I can't fix this. If I broke us beyond repair, tell me you want a divorce. I want to fix this Bobby, but if I've destroyed us beyond repair, just tell me and I'll let you go." Athena left leaving Bobby standing in the doorway with his mouth open in shock.

Bobby shut the door and paced his hotel suite. His mind was racing a mile a minute. He still wasn't over the surprise of opening the door and finding Athena. She had definitely surprised him. A part of him had wanted to hug her and never let go, but seeing her reopened all the deeps wounds she had created. Bobby glanced at his phone. He picked it up and took a seat on the edge of the bed. He opened his texts and started to read through all the messages from Athena he had ignored. Most of her texts just asked him to either come home or call him back. Next Bobby opened his voicemail. Athena had left him five message. The first few were short. She apologized and asked him to call her. As he made his way through the messages, her messages got longer. Bobby listened to the last one three time. There was something different about her tone. Bobby could almost picture her sitting on their bed and leaving this message for him:

"Bobby, I know you are ignoring my calls and texts. And I know I should give you your space, but I don't want to. I love you Bobby. I screwed up." Athena paused getting choked up. "I'm sorry, okay. You are my husband and I love you, only you. I know that doesn't mean much to you right now. And you probably think it sounds pathetic after everything I put you through. But I mean it. If you ever speak to me again, I'll lay myself at your feet and beg for your forgiveness. Please call me back." 

Bobby slowly pulled the phone from his ear. It would have taken alot for Athena to say she would beg for forgiveness. He would exactly say she had begged him just now, but she had flown all the way out to Minnesota to find him. That meant something. But Bobby didn't know what to do with the ache in his heart. He wanted to believe her, but didn't want her to break his heart again. He was barely holding on right now as it was. Speaking of holding on, Bobby glanced at his phone and realized he had to leave to make it on time to his meeting. Since arriving in Minnesota he had gone to a meeting every day sometimes twice a day.

Athena made it back to her hotel room and was unsure what to do next. She picked up her phone and called Hen.

"How's Minnesota?" Hen asked as soon as she picked up. "Have you talked to Bobby?"

"I did." Athena said.

"And? What happened?"

"He didn't slam the door in my face so that's something." Athena pointed out.

"What did you say? What did he say?"

"We bickered a bit, but then I pretty much told him I was here and wouldn't leave until he either forgave me and asked me for a divorce."

"I'm proud of you." Hen smiled. 

"Thanks I guess." Athena wasn't sure how to take that. "He didn't accept my apology you know."

"But it was a start. You acknowledged you were in the wrong and that it could be irreparable." Hen told her. "And that is something."

Athena sighed. "Well he hasn't returned any of my calls or texts still. I don't know how to take that."

"I wouldn't think too much about that. He may not be ready yet." Hen said gently. "The point is he knows you are there. Imagine if the roles were reversed. Do you think you'd be so quick to be ready to talk to Bobby?"

"No." Athena agreed. "But Bobby can be just as stubborn as I can when he gets hurt. After everything he's been through he protects his heart so fiercely."

"Exactly. Hen responded. "Bobby gets to have his space and his time."

"Thanks Hen. I'll talk to you soon." Athena hung up.

***  
Just as she promised, the next day Athena walked back to Bobby's hotel. 

"Athena." Bobby acknowledged still blocking the door way when he opened the door. "What are you doing here?"

"I told you yesterday. I am going to be here everyday hoping you'll talk to me and asking for forgiveness until you forgive me." She left out the other option. She didn't want the reminder that divorce was also a possible outcome.

"No, I mean why are you here? Why did you come?"

"You left LA with out telling anyone. You ran away from me. I am angry at you for that. You have every right to not talk to me. But you dissapeared Bobby. Can you imagine how I felt when I found out you left LA without a word to anyone?"

"Really Athena?" Bobby scoffed. "You think you have any room to tell me where I can and cannot go? Really?"

Athena put her left hand in front of his face. "See this. These rings. These are my vows to you. My commitment to you. The second we hit a rough patch you run away when every single day you run towards the danger. But you couldn't get away from me fast enough. I came here to fight for us. As long as these rings are on my finger I will fight for you, even if I have to chase you half way across the country. Please Bobby, don't give up on me. Don't give up on us."

"You have no idea how exhausting it has been for me. I have tried to support you every single day, but you brush me off, tell me you don't need to be babied. Do you know how that makes me feel? You are a strong, independent woman Athena. I know that, I love that about you. But time and time again you push me away. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel when you tell me over and over that you don't need me. That you don't need a husband. That's how I feel. That's what you've done to us. I… I just don't know Athena." Bobby slowly closed the door leaving Athena standing in the hallway thinking about what he said.


	5. Chapter 5

Bobby rolled over. He had been in bed for a few hours but couldn't fall asleep. He reached for his phone. It was almost midnight. Was it too late for a phone call? Well Bobby knew what was keeping him up. Making this phone call couldn't hurt, could it? Bobby put his phone down. He couldn't bring himself to dial. No, he wasn't ready for that. Bobby rolled over and settled in for a restless night's sleep. His mind wouldn't shut off. Athena's words played on a loop: her just standing there when he asked if she wanted to be married, her showing up at his hotel, Athena telling him to forgive her or she would let him go if that's what he wanted. It wasn't an ultimatum. It was the truth. If he couldn't get past this there was nothing left for them. Bobby had been angry that she said it was his decision but she was right. Supposedly Athena wanted to repair the damage. Only he could tell her that it was too late. Was it too late? 

The next morning Athena made her now familar trek back to Bobby's hotel. She raised her fist to knock, but stopped when she spotted the do not disturb sign on his door. Quietly Athena turned and walked away. Inside Bobby was passed out asleep after finally managing to shut his brain off around dawn. 

Bobby groaned when he finally woke up. He felt like he was coming off a 24 hour shift. It was the middle of the afternoon now. All that tossing and turning had actually been helpful to sort some things out. Bobby got up and showered. He ordered room servce realizing he was starving. After he finished eating he grabbed his room key, phone, and wallet. 

Athena shut off the TV when she heard a knock. "Bobby." She smiled seeing him standing outside her hotel.

"Hen told me where I could find you." He explained seeing the unasked question hanging in the air.

"I tried to stop by earlier but you had the do not disturb sign up." Athena said.

"I was sleeping. I haven't been sleeping well and I was up most the night." 

"I haven't been sleeping well either." Athena admitted. "So did you want to come in?" She offered.

"Sure." Bobby said. Athena stepped aside and let him in. "I've been thinking about what you said and," he cleared his throat, "I don't want a divroce. I want this to be repairable. I want to forgive you Athena. I have not forgiven you yet. That is going to take some time and probably several conversations."

"I understand." Athena whispered while tears streamed down her face.

"Athena, even when you shatter my heart into a million pieces I still want to pull you into my arms and kiss you with all the life I have." Bobby frowned, "You're crying."

"Tears of relief. Of joy. Of exhaustion. I…I know I shattered your heart. I know how it feels because my heart feels shattered too. Seeing you walk out of our house shattered my heart. After you walked out I tore the house to pieces. I threw everything off the shelves in the living room trying to ease the heartache, but I couldn't. Nothing could fix my heartache but you. I was just so stunned by your question. Like you had been saying, I was so oblivious to you that I hadn't realized things were so bad between us, so your question stunned me. But Bobby." She made sure he was looking at her. "Yes. My answer is yes. Of course I want to be married to you. You are the only man I want to be married to. Now. Tomorrow. Forever."

"Athena." Bobby wiped at his own tears. 

Athena closed the distance between them and threw herself into Bobby's arms. Bobby's arms instantly wrapped around her holding her pressed against him. Both of them relaxed when their lips met. For a moment it was enough but then it wasn't. Bobby cupped Athena's face in his hands. Sliding his tongue across her lip. Athena moaned granting Bobby the access he craved. One of them dominated for a few seconds only to be over powered by the other. Bobby's heart roared its approval of having Athena in his arms again. Athena's brain was completely shut off. She ignored the ache starting to build in her core. She wasn't ready for that. Neither was Bobby. This was satisfying a need. Anything more would need to wait until Bobby fully forgave her. 

Athena pulled her lips from Bobby's breathing heavily, sucking in the air her lungs needed. She knew her lips were probably swollen. Bobby's arms were still wrapped around her holding her against his body. Athena missed how she felt when he held her in his arms.

Bobby smiled a smile that reached his eyes, "Dinner?"

"You want to go on a date?" Athena asked skeptically.

Bobby's smile vanished. "Do you think it's a bad idea?"

"No. Not exactly." Athena said quickly. "But we still have alot to talk through and that isn't going anywhere. I just thought maybe it would hang over us."

"It doesn't have to be a date." He said. "What about a step towards reconciliation? When's the last time you and I went out together?"

"It has been awhile." Athena agreed. "If you're sure you'll be able to enjoy yourself without wanting to stab me with your steak knife."

Bobby chuckled. "I think we just proved we could put aside everything and get lost in each other."

"Fair point." Athena smiled. "Let me freshen up. I'll be ready to take you out in a few minutes." She turned and walked into the bathroom. "And I'm paying."

"This is nice." Athena smiled looking at Bobby across the table.

"It is." He agreed. He wished he could capture this feeling and hold on to it. Sitting across from Athena. Sharing a meal without the weight of all his feelings he had stuffed down was exhilarating and freeing. "I know we agreed not to talk about all the things we need to talk about still, but I just have to say it's nice to have it all out there. I feel like I can finally enjoy your presence again."

Athena didn't say anything to that. She slowly chewed on a piece of steak but it felt funny in her now dry mouth. Athena knew his feelings had been bottled up, but to hear him say he hadn't enjoyed her presence, wasn't something she could just let go. "What do you mean?" There was a false air of casualness in her voice. 

Bobby couldn't tell she had a death grip on her folk as he went on. "I didn't feel comfortable around you. I felt like I was walking on eggshells. I was very wary of setting you off."

"Setting me off?" Athena frowned. "You say it like I was an unstable time bomb waiting to go off."  
Bobby merely shrugged aware they were getting into dangerous territory. "So you think I was just unstable ready to go off at any point?" Athena was not going to let it go. Bobby couldn't help but think this reaction was exactly the sort of thing he had avoided by keeping his feelings from her.

"Athena." Bobby said gently trying to bring the tension down. "You were going through alot. You were very sensitive to any mention of the attack." Athena bristled at the mention of it once again proving Bobby's point. "I was trying not to upset you, but it was meant that I had to stifle my own reactions and feelings."

"Well you seemed perfectly happy to voice your opinions about my returning to work." Athena defended.

"And look how that turned out." Bobby huffed. "You shut down with every single conversation. You shut down and shut me out."

"It wasn't just you." Athena pointed out. "I didn't want to talk about it. Not with you. Not with Michael. Not with Hen. No one." Bobby rolled his eyes at the mention of Michael. "Robert Nash don't roll you eyes at me."

"Why does Michael have to come up in every conversation?"

"Seriously. That is what you're upset about?" 

"Yes!" Bobby sighed. "I'm upset that he gets more of your attention than I do. I'm upset you shut down and won't talk to me. I get you don't want to talk about it over and over. I know working with Kara has been tough for you. But I thought…." He trailed off.

"You thought what?" Athena pushed very much wanting to know where that sentence ended.

"I thought maybe, maybe you might make an exception for you husband, Athena. Forgive me for thinking that you might actually trust me and feel safe enough with me to be open with me." Bobby placed his napkin on the table. "I think you were right. We weren't ready for this." He got up and left.

When the waiter came back Athena ordered a slice of cake and another glass of wine. It was about an hour before Athena made it back to her hotel. She couldn't help but think she and Bobby were making progress. She went back to that kiss they had shared right here in her room, a few steps from where she was standing. Her whole body remembered that kiss, remembered the way Bobby had pressed her to his body. His need to touch her as great as her need to touch him. Then his words from dinner pushed themself to the forefront of her mind. Maybe they weren't ready for this yet. A date was too much. They had made some progress but it all came to a screeching halt at dinner. But Athena didn't think it was a total fail. She learned two things today. First they both still desired each other. Second, before they could get any further in their reconciliation, they need a long talk where they talked openly and honestly about everything. Athena needed to hear Bobby out all the way through and Athena needed to finally let Bobby in and share with him, no matter how scared she was to be that vulnerable. 


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey." Bobby was expecting Athena when she arrived at his door the next day. 

"Hey." Athena thought it was good sign that he at least opened the door for her. "I was thinking about what you said at dinner last night and I agree. We do need to talk. We aren't going to get anywhere if we don't. So, if you are ready to talk to me, I'm ready to listen."

"Come on in." Bobby stepped aside. "Can I get you some coffee?"

"Please." Athena took a seat in a comfy looking armchair. 

Bobby disappeared into the kichenette and returned a few minutes later. "Just as you like it." He promised.

Athena took a sip and smiled. "Perfect." 

Bobby took a seat in the other armchair. "So you want to talk."

"I do." Athena nodded. "I'm ready to listen. I'm going to be quiet. Tell me whatever you need to. Whatever you need to say to me."

"Okay." Bobby leaned forward. Athena sipped her coffee while she waited. "I want you to know I'm not trying to take anything from you or your experience. I know you are going to process your trauma in your own way and it is not for me to say how that should be. I know you aren't over the attack." Bobby watched Athena instantly drop her gaze to the floor. "That is why I pushed back on you going back to work. I trust you. I have seen you out there and I have complete faith in your ability Athena. I never doubted you. It was just that I know you are still struggling with it."

"I'm fine." Athena said quietly.

"That's your defense." Bobby told her. "And you can say that to anyone else. The kids, Michael, Elaine, Rick, my team, I don't care. You just can't say it to me. Not anymore. They might all believe you, but I know it's a lie. I'm the one lying beside you when you wake up from a nightmare. I hear you stuffing the corner of your pillow or the sheet in your mouth to try and keep your sobs from me. I need you to stop hiding that you aren't okay from me. I promise I won't say a word to anyone. But I need you to be completely honest with me. I also need you to not shut down at every mention of the attack. I understand there may be certain things you don't want to talk about or times when you may not want to discuss it. But you cannot shut down every single time I bring it up. I want you to feel safe talking to me about it too. I bring it up so much because it scares me that you are so silent about it." He took a deep breath. "That's it. I'm done."

"Okay." Athena nodded. "I promise I will not shut down every time you want to talk about it. I appreciate that you will keep this between us. I want everyone else to think I'm okay. I can't have everyone in my life looking at me the way you will when I talk to you about this. I feel good at work Bobby. It was scary at first, but I'm back in my groove again."

"I know." He beamed with pride. 

Athena set down her mug. She reached for Bobby and took his hands in hers. Athena needed his strength, his connection to help her get through what she needed to tell him now. "Whatever I say please don't be mad."

"I promise." Bobby squeezed her hands. "All I want is for you to talk to me."

Athena nodded. "I..." Athena barely started and she already felt her voice quiver. "I just want to be okay. I have stuffed everything down because I'm tired of feeling like this."

"Like what?" Bobby asked gently. He promised himself he wouldn't interrupt but he felt like this was going to be much more of a conversation that her just talking.

"Powerless." Athena squeezed his hands in hers. "I feel powerless that I can't control the nightmares. Any mention of the attack brings it all back in flashes and I force myself to shut down so I don't have to relive it."

"Athena you are not powerless. You are the strongest person I know."

"I know I am strong. I'm saying I FEEL powerless. I can't control it Bobby. It's like I go into fight or flight mode and I flee. I shut it all down and run away from it. It's scary." Athena is shaking now.

"Hey." Bobby said gently he got up and sat on the armrest of her chair. He just put his arms around Athena and held her. He didn't say anything.

"Bobby." Athena said quietly after a few minutes. "I stopped therapy because it was the only way I could get Elaine to let me go back to work. I obviously am still dealing with the trauma but I like being at work. It brings me a sense of normalcy. You were right at first. I really wasn't ready that first day. I was jittery, but I got through it. I pushed myself and came out of it stronger and more confident."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Bobby asked.

"Because I knew you would see right through me. You knew I wasn't ready when I needed to believe I was. I needed to convince myself I was ready to move on and going to work again was the only way I could. I know it was the right decision. Work is the only place I feel like myself again."

"That's probably why we are having problems at home." Bobby said shifting the conversation. "I'm sorry I doubted you. Going back to work was good for you. But I want you to go back to therapy because you may be able to push it aside at work but it is still impacting us at home. I think we should even consider going to couple's therapy to find ourselves and learn how to communicate again. You need to stop shutting me out. Athena, you don't need to tell me everything all the time, but can't shut me out. That makes me feel useless. I question whether you even need me or want me."

"Bobby I do want you." You have been a rock through all of this. I haven't treated you well but you were always there and I took advantage of thar, but knowing you were that was actually a comfort. I know you have concerns about the attention and time I've given to Michael. You are right to be upset about that. I have given him more of my time and attention. Not because anything is going on between us, but because I gravitated towards comfort. He was my husband for almost 15 years. He's been there through alot of ups and downs in my life. Michael does not understand the job or this like yoh do. And I know this has been hard on you since you were there and you heard it. I should have leaned on you, but I went to want I was familiar with."

"Are you saying I don't feel comfortable with me?"

"No, that's not what I'm trying to say at all. It's part of that fight or flight I was telling you about. I feel suffocated by your presence and with Michael I know he wouldn't ask about it."

"I'm sorry my presence is suffocating." He pulled his hands from Athena. 

"Baby listen." Athena pleaded. "I want you to be the person I go to. I wanted that person to be you. But you were struggling and I didn't know how to talk to you about this. Once I went to Michael I didn't know how to change that. I…I want you. You are my rock and my safety net, Bobby. You are my husband, my partner, my confidante. I messed up."

Bobby silently took Athena's hands back in his. "Sorry. We promised to hear each other out. Please continue."

Athena nodded slowly. "Here is what I need from you. I need you to not push your feelings on me. Stop telling me how you think I should feel and let me tell you how I feel."

"But you need to actually tell me how you feel." Bobby responded. 

"Then you need to talk to me if you don't agree with a decision I've made, but don't force your position on me. I don't like to talk when I feel pressured."

Bobby sighed. "When you're not pressured you shut down and refuse to talk."

"But when you push me it only makes me lash out." Athena reminded him. 

Bobby nodded. "Okay. I will not pressure you to talk before you are ready, but that doesn't mean you get to shove it down and not talk about it."

"I know." Athena agreed, "But I get to talk about it when I am ready." Athena watched Bobby nod. "So, are we agreement of how we are going to work through this together?"

"Yes." Bobby agreed. "So what now?"

"Now I open up to you." Athena was painfully aware of the way her voice wavered. 

"Are you sure you are up for this?" Bobby asked. "I mean now?"

Athena nodded. "I am. Are you ready for this?"

"Yes." Bobby said quietly. He had been waiting months for this moment when Athena would let herself be open and honest with him. "Remember, I'm right here." He assured her.


End file.
